Motivational (at least for me, anyway)

I wish I could capture my sense of humor. The problem is, I have a problem remembering rants and quirky connections later, mainly because they are never logical.

"Why not channel it? Free up you mind and go there?"

I'll tell you why: I squander. Most of the time it is not a conscious choice. I squander my time. I don't set limits on myself because when I set limits on myself, I never recognize the limits. "You're not the boss of me!" I yell at myself and I end up on the computer or my phone until I end up late for something or too tired to get up and go to bed.

When I want to read, I don't . When I want to write, I don't. Like I said, that's not all the time, but it happens enough that I wonder why, if I want to do something, why can't I follow Mr. Labouff's advice and

Sorry, but...he's so enthusiastic! It makes me want to strive to not be like him. Creatively, I have to say, I do envy him.  He puts the crazy out there.

Anyway, I guess you call it self-defeatism, engineering pity...I think I wrote about it before. I do something to sabotage myself so when I fail, I can have the caveat of trying. If I succeed by accident, whoops....yay!