The awakening of an atheist

God Concept was dead for me a long time ago. I remember questioning it during mass when I was younger, maybe around the age of 12. I listened to the sacrament of Eucharist, and that’s when it started to make me feel uneasy. All throughout Catholic school, I had been taught the word of god is right and true. So, the church’s attempt at wiping away the blood had become clearer to me, and I thought, ‘why?’ Why give yourself to your children in the guise of flesh and blood? Why was eating their flesh a sign of your love and gratitude for them?

It wouldn’t be until much later that I started to connect its rites and customs with those of religions that predated christianity. For many years, I could have given a shit about jesus, god or anything to do with religion. It was something I had been indoctrinated into and did it to appease parents, grandparents, clergy, etc. Growing up, we were never overtly religious as a family, unless you counted the fact that my brother and I went to Catholic school for twelve years. Unless I had to do it for school, I never read the bible. I read it more now than I did in all my twelve years of Catholic school. When I went to college, I went to church on the weekends, and later not at all.

It wasn’t until after my first son was born that I really started to take a hard look at religion and its role not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me, then society and the world as a whole. My father had asked me when were we going to baptize our son. My wife and I had talked about it before the baby came, but this was the first time that faith had come up when I was an adult in anything remotely resembling a conflict. He asked me if we were worried about his soul, that if it would go to hell. I told him that is not what we believe and that is something we want him to decide for himself. And that was it.

That, I think, was the beginning of my real research. In college, prior to being married and having the baby, I had written a paper on Simon de Beauvoir for a writing class. I read quite a bit on existentialism and religion. So, as an adult I had a starting point: existence. This was when the flood gates opened. I started to question everything.

What was our purpose here? How did we come into being? How did the world come about? What about the universe? Is there a god? As an adult, I hear the normal, ‘thank god,’ ‘god bless you,’ other sayings that I had always taken for granted as just part of everyday speech.

In a nutshell, that's how I 'became' an atheist.

Joining an online bible study

Atheist AF: So, I am now in the habit of collecting religious publications. You know, those little publications that demonstrate what happens to the righteous and the wicked? I also have three bibles now (and like a naughty, baby-eating atheist, I even stole one...from a little free library, but, you know...)

At first, I was not sure why I wanted to collect what people normally throw away.
Now...I know.
I think I've found my calling.

via GIPHY

Just kidding. But I have been trying to find a reason to write. I'm going to join a bible study.

My intention is not to ridicule, not to argue. My intention is to follow a natural progression of thought. To learn.

That being said, I do have a sense of humor. Should be interesting.

Doubt and Faith: Watch your attitude, mister!

I recently found myself in a conversation with a flat earther a last week. Right off the bat, I felt as though he was angered, maybe threatened. But here's the thing: if you don't want to argue or if you want to be among people with whom you agree, then go to church.

In the attachment, you will see that he initiated contact via private message through my Facebook page, Atheist AF (There's also Atheist AF Group for private discussions). The FB page is a place for nonbelievers to read things about atheism, agnosticism, the fallacies of religion and funny stuff. I have shared it and posts from it on my personal FB page, but I don't push it, and will attempt to continue to not promote it. I want as an authentic audience of this site as possible, whereas anyone who can find the site can look around and engage. So, this is exactly the kind of conversation I wanted.

I was overjoyed that someone had messaged me through the site. As I previously mentioned, the
gentleman was pissy. It made me smile. I mean, I would rather people not call me names and condemn me to hell (I am honored that he took the time to say it nice and pretty), but it kind of proves my point as of late.

The few times I come out of my shell and engage people on the issues that are important to me, there is a short exchange before they say, 'Let's agree to disagree.'   People have different attitudes toward discussing things in which they believe, or faced with contrary opinions. Some leave it alone, but others become incensed. 'How dare someone I don't know have a different opinion than mine, not to mention the fact that I have no obligation to respond to them.'

So, those of you who follow the page Atheist AF (go like it if you haven already) may have already seen these.

Enjoy.

Proclaiming your atheism: an opportunity for empathy/sympathy

This video came out about a year ago, but it still is a good example what religion can do to people. Not all people. There are people who believe and are not overtly passionate about it. They believe and that’s it. The average religious person most likely grew into the religion, Catholic or Muslim or take your pick. When you are born into a religion or way of life, you are more likely to base everything you know about morality and God on that. If you grow up in a home or culture that does not encourage free thought, then you see no problem with judging others who either have no faith or question theirs. It contradicts your way of life an may be convinced that is the only proper way to live. 

The mother in the audio was downright hysterical. She not only wanted her son disfellowshipped, she wanted to degrade him by yelling at, slapping and mimicking him. Disfellowshipping, simply put, is when you shun someone. After going through a process to make sure they are truly unrepentant, a disfellowshipped person must remove themselves from the religion. JW.org says that the disfellowshipped person is not separated from their friends and family, but I have met people who have been disfellowshipped for marrying outside the faith and for being promiscuous, and they say that this simply is not true. They saw that it was happened more often than not that their most their family and friends broke contact. There are people who go the rest of their lives without seeing or even talking to their loved ones. 

So when you look at it in that perspective, you can see why the mother might have went ballistic. To her, her son was knowingly ending his life. Not only that, but by questioning it, he was insulting her faith.  Believe me when I say that I am not judging this mother. Although I do not believe in god almost as adamantly as she does, I do have empathy for her. 

I was faced with that dilemma after this year’s election.  What I saw as the president-elect rose in his campaign made me more and more disgusted. After the election, I realized that there were people around me who had voted for him. A couple even expressed concern or worry over their vote or even tried to justify it. I decided that I would make an effort to keep those people out of my life if they chose to talk about it. 

One could relate it to shunning. In my mind, it is the right thing to do because I am keeping mean and hateful people (or at least people who condone the mean and hateful) away from my children. The only difference is that her anger and sorrow comes from religion and mine doesn’t. I applaud the young man for standing up for what he believes and my heart goes out to the mother that she may open hers.

If you want to read the article, here's the link: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2015/12/listen-mom-abuses-teen-for-coming-out-as-atheist/ \ 

Nix

god
demon
risen from hell

Banished, too
evil
sadistic

Fatuous in
Hell
lowly demon

children starve
sick
die

innocents
sodomy,
raped

butcher-kill
corpses

hellbound nothing
earthly cockatrice

blight of humans
or

Fairy tale....

much better story as 
nix-fiction

Critical Thought: My Origin Story?

Along with what our purpose is and where we came from, I wonder, Why am I like this? Why do I wonder and think and hash things out before they happen? Why do I need proof for everything? As a teenager, I would constantly wonder and sometimes ask the significant other if they felt the same way as I did.

I guess it is related to the contradiction I saw growing up. I was raised to believe. God was our savior and the light and he would be with us. His love was unconditional. But, even as a kid, I thought, 'so why do people feel alone? If God loves everyone, why is there suffering? Why is their loneliness? Then I learned that you have to let him in. 'But if he loves you,' I wondered  'why is that necessary?' That's when I learned that love can be conditional. I saw that there was still pain in the world and that those people who felt pain and suffering had, at the very least not let god into their hearts. They had done something that god did not like, so were not worthy of their love.

I think that is when I started to see that thought, rational thought, trusting in your own process of thinking, allowed me to reach conclusions. They were not always right, but they helped me live a halfway sane life. Even though the resulting atheism came later, for me, that is where the groundwork for critical thought began. That is where my doubt started. I began to question things.

As much as people trust in god, I trust in thought. As much as others pray for guidance, I turn to my thoughts, or those of others, and derive my own conclusion.

Intelligent Design: 'Look at me! I'm Science!'

In response to Mike Pence Wants Creationism Taught in Public Schools,

I wrote "[H]omeschool. My kids would be pulled out of school so fast if they started teaching this." I stand by this, even though my wife gave me her, Okay-honey eye roll. bracing herself for another discussion on religion.

I spared her the discussion because Intelligent Design is not religion and teaching it in schools is not teaching religion-- it is even worse: it is science tainted by religion.  The religious who push this want you to be confused. They want you to say, 'oh, that doesn't sound too bad,' and next thing you know, you're watching reruns of The Flinstones as documentaries.

I fully support the teaching of religious history, even religious theory (for lack of a better term, and on the condition that non-belief is presented as an option as well),  but Intelligent Design is built on the assumption that the bible is a historical account. A record of history. Time and time again it has been proven that the Bible is filled with discrepancies. Science depends upon the observation and interpretation of our surroundings, to constantly build new theories on how our world works. Intelligent Design piggy backs on science's credibility by calling itself a science, all the while denouncing it by its very premise: God exists.

Trying to put intelligent design on the same level as science is not bringing forth an alternative to or a new branch of science. It is a covert way to push religion onto the unsuspecting.

Light Reading: My Existence

I've been reading The God Delusion and I recently picked up the books Philosophy in Minutes (2014) by Marcus Weeks, Existentialism: All that Matters (2015) by David Cerbone and Trivium: The Classical Liberal Arts of Grammar, Logic, & Rhetoric (2016) John Martineau, editor. I was drawn to existentialism in college. I was taking a rhetoric or logic class and either overhead Sartre's name or tumbled on it in a bookstore, not sure. But, it was one of the few papers I wrote in college that I actually worked on. No last minute bullshit for this one. I pored myself into it. I could not wait to get to work and was disappointed when the work was done. Little did I know that I would revisit it again and again throughout my life. So, here I am today.

The focus on the individual, the subjective human experience appeals to me today more than ever. I have always been somewhat self-centered anyway because I have such a problem interacting with others, unless it is through sarcasm or humor. It applies to me to day as well because of my relatively recent realization of my atheism. I hadn't thought about it then, but I certainly had the same feelings of disillusionment and 'that's a load of shit' then that I do now. I have just been acknowledging it now, over the recent years.

The subjective human experience, existential angst, and our relationship to the world applies to thoughts of god and whether or not he exists. We have our life, and that's it rather than God pulling our strings or setting the script.

Bah-Bah-Bless you: Living in the Believers' World

I had a friend recently ask me if I would be offended if someone told me 'May God bless you," as a farewell. He asked this on his Facebook wall, and to his chagrin, none of the people who responded had a problem with it. Upon reading the discussion, everyone who responded was religious to some extent. No one had an issue, and neither do I, to tell the truth. Here's what I posted as a comment:

I don't have a problem if it is said to me, and I am a proud Atheist. But I can see how someone might have a problem with how ingrained religion is in our society. As an atheist, I could get all PC and say how dare you infringe on my rights, but who am I to get pissed at someone saying something they have probably saying their whole life? I see 'God Bless you' and 'Hail Satan' on the same level, personally. I know they have totally different connotations, but if you look at both in their own context, they are the same thing. imagine how you would feel if you said God Bless you and I said Hail Satan back? I know this is not necessarily how bad xxxxxx feels, but it might get you close sympathizing.

I am not normally the type of atheist who starts discussions with believers, but I will state my opinion if it is warranted. I know I am not going to change anyone's mind and I have made issues worse a couple of times by pursuing discussions. I have friends who are believers and I respect that and they respect my lack of belief and it is usually left at that. I don't usually get uppity or confrontational when people get holy on me. That is not to say that I do not have a distinct opinion on believers.

I believe that there is a certain amount of weakness that is required to have a belief in any go. To say that people have been believing in God or gods for centuries  is not really a valid reason. That is akin to saying, 'well, Billy jumped off the bridge, so I did too." I know that many believers (if not the majority) have been indoctrinated at birth. I myself was baptized christian. So I cannot necessarily hold it against them if they had no say in the matter. That is why, as I said earlier, I have little problem with them saying blessings or whatever. That's all they know.

There's a reason Jesus likens his followers to sheep.

Churches: A fool and his money..*

Explain to me why God implores his followers to give up their riches, deplores gluttony, etc. but condones the pouring of money into churches and ministries? The more lavish the better or closer to God you will be, it seems.

It's a simple question: If you are supposed to give up your riches to the poor, why does any money go to churches?

Why do the leaders of big 'ministries' need expensive halls of worship when there are people who go poor and starve and die?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IoOgBxrwCo 

God said that non shall suffer (2 Peter 3:9), but he condemns to hell all those who are not charitable (Matthew 25:31-36).

The churches are the real recipients of charity. You could go as far as to say they steal from the poor...actually, they steal from the rich and keep from the poor. I am not saying churches are not the source of a lot of benefits for the poor, but then so do atheists.


*Not actually from the bible.

An Atheist's Facepalm

It constantly bugs me that people cannot see the hypocrisy of religion. I have seen the same people who profess the love of god and the sacrifice of Jesus turn around and judge and insult and bully and steal. 'But god forgives'.

Really? If god forgives, then why in the hell does he give a flying crucifix if we sin or treat our fellow neighbors with love and respect?

Granted, this is one of many, but it still makes my head spin.