Don't Feed the Beast: Assemble, Don't Riot

People have the right is to peaceably assemble. Check your Bill of Rights. Everyone is so caught up in the Second Amendment, they forget that the right to bare arms is not the cornerstone right of America. Every time there is a protest, people seem to complain about the 'complaining.' Unlike the Second Amendment, the First Amendment is pretty clear.

The First Amendment:

First Amendment. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Not that it does not come with safeguards for the public.

The government can regulate time, place and safety parameters, as long as it is not specifically to do with the content or purpose of the assembly (Right to Peaceful Assembly, Library of Congress).

There have been almost as many protests as there have been Trump tweets, but what the people who are assembling need to remember is that they have an obligation to keep up their end of the bargain. The key word here is 'peaceful.' This is where your impromptu gatherings can turn into a riot. There is  good chance blood is going to get hot and fists and rocks could fly if those gathered are not reminded why they are there.

Once it becomes a riot, the point has been lost. It's one thing to get beaten up by the cops for a cause, but it's a whole other if you provoked it. I'm not saying cops have the right to beat people indiscriminately, but I am saying they have the unfortunate job of maintaining order. If you pose a threat to that, then they can and will subdue you.

My wife and I have been itching to get out there and show support and whatnot, and we even thought about getting our kids involved, to show them what it means to be American. Then I saw a protest at an international airport and they were spraying pepper spray into the crowd. Not every gathering of civic minded people is necessarily going to be civil. It could get to the tipping point where police or protesters feel threatened and then things start flying.

Remember, your goal is to help the country get better, not worse.

I Don't Like You, and That's Okay

If I am acknowledging and protecting my family from people who could  be harmful,  why do I feel like such a hateful person?  I don’t hate people who voted for Trump,  I just would rather not associate with them.  They have values that are wholly different than mine. I know people can change,  but who am I to change them? I was raised to respect people,  but making the principled decision to not associate with them seems contrary  to that.  

It feels wrong because I have never made that distinction before.  Not that I previously let my kids associate  with bad or misguided people,  but I have never defined them as such.  That and the fact that people who would fall in that category did not spread across such a wide spectrum.  From people I vaguely know to family members. But when I feel that guilt, I need to remember, I don't have to be everyone's friend just because I respect them, or they fit into any other category established by society.

Just because I won’t associate with them does not mean I hate them.  It does not mean I wish them ill will.  Just like I let my kid play at someone’s house because I don’t agree with their parenting style,  I won’t knowingly associate with someone who either hates certain people or condones that hate.  

Whenever I feel like I am not loving my neighbor just because of their beliefs, I think of how the people I have talked to and the people I see online and in the news never seem to show the same consideration or compassion. Do they feel guilt for comparing our former president to a monkey? Do they feel like hypocrites when they realize that less than a year ago, they were still complaining about Obama's birth certificate? Do they realize what kind of person Trump is? (not all Trump supporters have done or said the above things, but the ones who had done or said the above things were his supporters) I can't really answer yes to any of these.

I think that it is natural to not want to be around people who you don't like or with whom you share no common interests or ideologies.

Righteous Hypocrite

I have been thinking about my decision of essentially disowning anyone who voted for Trump. Even though the reasoning is sound, it has grated on my logic bone. How can I claim to be open-minded when I said if you vote for Trump, you either support what he says and the ideologies he puts out there, or you’re too stupid to know any better. I’ve had zero conversations on the topic...no one has come forth and talked to me about it and I’ve approached no one about it either. Not that I don’t want to talk about it, but...well, I don’t. The few times I have talked to people about him, they excuse away what he has said and done; they simply don’t see it that way.

There are people with whom I want to talk about it, but we have never talked politics. I want to know who they voted for, but I also am scared to find out. I don’t want to lump them in with the others who voted for him, but if they didn’t, that would be good news.

I feel like a hypocrite. I catch myself judging people on not being open minded, but then I reassure myself that I am protecting my children from people who hate, or support/condone hate. But that consolation never lasts long and I have to fight away the dirty feeling.

I’m scared. I am disgusted. I am ashamed

Discussed Anger (Brain Droppings)

I realized something today.  I mentioned in a previous post that as a child and adolescent, my family never discussed politics and that I must have fallen far from the tree. I think about politics and the state of the world a lot. The internet and social media have made it possible fo me to deliver my opinion to others. I have been called passionate and have entered into my fair share of flame wars.

I know now that this desire to tell people what I think, to debate when it is better left alone, when most people would move along, is related to my upbringing.

Last night, I had dinner with my father. On the tip of my brain was the election, but given past habits, I did not bring it up. Before last night, I had decided to not let who they voted for affect how I feel about my family. But, it still pisses me off. It disgusts me when I see decisions certain politicians have made or plan to make that will have detrimental effects on my family and I think, 'How could they.' For example, I thought that today after my wife talked about unions and the effects current negotiations could have on our family. I thought, 'Why dad?'

I think the reason I am passionate about politics and eagerly enter into the fray is not so much an effect of our family not talking about it--not directly, way--as it is that I know I can't talk about it out of respect, but it still pisses me off, and this anger is injected into my discussions with other people.

Disillusioned (Brain Droppings)

So, I found out my parents voted for Trump.

On Saturday family day trip, we took a detour on the way home and went to my parents' house for a visit.  We were there long enough that I laid down and took a nap. I overheard my wife and mom talking about the election and ho they voted for.

How could they? Did I fall far from the tree? They have a son whose family, mainly his autistic son, who depends on some of the programs that are likely to be cut by the President-elect. Who depends on a certain amount of benefits that could possibly get cut. So, did they just not pay attention to the issues?

Here's the thing. You never would guess it, but I was raised not to talk about politics. It was never spoken or discussed in our house. Neither was religion...and we were Catholic. So if we had opinions on such matters, we held it in. There was no abuse or fear, we just didn't talk about it. It was a sign of respect NOT to talk about it. I am not surprised that it was my mother who talked to my wife, after I was asleep.

I believe it was this attitude that inspired me to ask questions. I had always been the kid to ask, 'why?' Even though I continued to never take things at face value, I learned that it was better to pick my battles. That slowly became an attitude of mind your own business. Today, I continue to have these conflicting values: Always ask questions vs. Leave well enough alone.

I hope that someday we can talk about it, but I honestly do not think that any good would come of it.

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Even Hitler had his Good Days

Even Hitler had his good days

Forgive me if this post seems redundant of a previous FB post, but I feel it's worth more thought. So, I've seen this video floating around supporting the thought that Trump is not a despicable person.  Not misogynistic. Not ableist. Ignorant to what his supporters have been doing in his name during the campaign and after the election.

Oh, that's it, we have all just misunderstood him. Granted, some of the things that are cited as racist statements can be argued otherwise, or as being ambiguous at best.  Those alone, I MIGHT have been able to give them the benefit of the doubt. But coupled with his condoning of the acts on is behalf, is almost as bad as the acts themselves.

Hitler had his good days. Charles Manson had his good days. Show those times, and maybe you'll be convinced they were royal douchebags.

Here are 13 Examples of Trump Being a Racist

We Shouldn't Forget Trump's Bigotry and Hate Just Because He Won the Election 

These 49 quotes are all things Trump actually said

Protesting: It's your right

I realized I don't have to address every slight or enter every argument.

I found myself arguing with someone about something government related. While I was ticked off, I did not rush back to my feed to see what he said next or try to bash or insult him. The point of all this is not to argue and insult the other side. The point of this is not to run away from arguments. The point of this is not to run to arguments either. 'Start the dialogue' doesn't mean trying  to do so to show them how it's done.

If you are upset over the election results, if you are scared or pissed or sad, you have to realize that what happened was not unforeseen. It was preventable, though. Everyone except his supporters underestimated him. He was an entertaining soundbite, fodder for jokes. He was not seen for the threat that he actually was.

You'll be called names. You might even be threatened, but if you persist in realizing that people lash out when threatened. Many see a discussion as a threat. Eventually, I think you will be able to stand being called names. And remember, every battle is fought differently. Some aren't worth your time.

You are not whiners. You are not babies. You are not sore losers. Whether people agree with you or not as to why you are protesting, it is your right. One of the first things they will tell you is that what you are doing is a waste of tie. They are merely pissed because the people who were screwed over actually have a voice, or they are jealous that you have the courage to make your voice heard.

New Kind of Anger

So I was an unprecedentedly calm and cool the night of the election. A lot of it was that it was over. The kind of calm I used to feel after the conclusion of a big exam for which I prepared little or not at all. Don't get me wrong. I was not happy. But I went to bed thinking we move on. It might suck. It might be okay.

Then I woke up. The next morning I was surly. After dropping the kids off at school, I started feeling a little bit sad. I was looking at Facebook and saw all the 'Day after' photos (people were calling them 'day one' photos, but technically, that day is not yet here), of racist epithets and acts of hate against people of different races. Still on Facebook, I scrolled to find that an old acquaintance of mine had called people who were upset about the election "butthurt whiners."

Click.

I didn't get angry, all hot in the head. I realized that there is no reason I have to respond to anything. No rule says I have to read and respond. What is also true is that I also don't have to take shit from people. Just because someone types in all caps does not mean I need to take them seriously or be scared of them. Most of the time, name callers just want to break you down; all they want is an argument. I used to get all nervous about starting arguments, avoiding confrontation. If you want to open dialogue, don't be scared of bloviating assholes, calm them down and talk to them.

The whole point of getting involved is to converse.

Racism, Misogyny, Ableism is not okay now

The day before the election, my seven year old talked to us about voting. His class had a mock election and he told us that he was voting for Trump because that is who was going to win; that's what people said. we explained to him that he should inform himself and vote the way he felt was right, not the way other people told him to.

This morning, I told my kids that Trump won. I told them that because this is the man the country has elected, we we need to respect that. But, they are not blind or deaf. Over the course of the election, they saw and heard all the deplorable things come from this man.  I told them that just because he won, does not make what he said and did okay. I know this will be the case, because it happened on a smaller scale here in Riverside. Candidates slammed, slandered and intimidated candidates and voters, and validated their actions, dismissing them, actually, because they won. Well, people did not shut up. I have seen my friends, Christine Kirkwood and Kevin Kiene, keep up their cause, their belief in a Riverside that does not need to falling to line with other small towns that accept the corn stalk hierarchy, and blindly support or overlook the actions of someone just because they are of certain families.

These are the people I want to use as an example going forward, not just for myself, but for my children. You can't change things overnight, and you can't change things if you sit on your ass.

You can be respectful and still stick it to them.

Disappointment is not Hatred

But isn't that hate? I ask myself, Aren't you doing exactly what you say is bad: hating people because they are different?

I don't hate them. I don't. But I know that my thoughts and my actions can come across as being hateful. I unfriended people I knew or had good cause to believe were supporting Trump. I have been very vocal in my secluded little world about my disdain for him; then again, at no time did anyone want to talk about it. No one. Which absolutely does not surprise me.

As is the case with Trump supporters, I distance myself from them because I know that their support for the man has something to do with hate (for the system, for women, for minorities, Hillary, Obama, themselves, what have you).

Part of it is that I don't want to be around people, so I don't put myself in situations that cause me to experience that. I do judge people. I think you need to judge people to protect you and yours. If you don't, then you are not going to be able to discern between good people and bad people. Where we run into a problem is when people have a skewed or warped sense of good and bad and how to identify it, when they have a fucked up metric or labels, 'telling' them who is good and who is bad.